Irresistible Jesus

 Last night's outreach was fun. We were able to talk to around 20 girls or so, and have some good conversations, but what I remember most about the night is how irresistible Jesus is. I'll just share one story….

There were two girls standing on one corner. We approached N* first, she was polite and took a bag but when we asked her if she wanted any prayer she was very adamant that she did not. So we moved on. 

We then talked to M* who was standing on that same corner just a few feet away. She was very open to chatting with us. She very much wants out of prostitution, she is tired and sad and beaten down. But knows that it is a battle within her own mind that is keeping her trapped where she is. We offered to pray for her and she eagerly accepted (Actually, I think she asked us for prayer before we could even offer it!). 

In the middle of our prayer for her, another woman we see quite often out on the streets, L*, walked up shouting "My girls!!!!" She ran to embrace us and join in our prayer time. Seeing us all embracing on the street and praying together, N* walked over and said, "okay, um…I want to pray to, I want prayer!"

It was a beautiful and holy moment. 

The woman who didn't want to engage with us and was very resistant to prayer couldn't resist it any longer when a community of people came together on a dim street corner to pray. When M* was vulnerable enough to acknowledge her weaknesses and need for God, it enabled N* to do the same. When L* was free in her excitement of seeing us and joining in our prayer, it enabled N* to do that same. It was a holy moment. Christ was irresistible, and he met N* in her resistance, hesitancy and vulnerability. 

The Power of Prayer

 We ran into a beautiful young woman last night that we've had the opportunity to talk to a few times before. She was very friendly, and willing to engage in conversation for a while. But what really stood out to me was when I offered to pray for her. 

She got this sly smile on her face and told us that while she didn't necessarily MIND prayer, but the last time she let us pray for her - she got a lot of thing she wanted, but she also got a lot of answers to prayer in ways that she didn't want. 

This got me thinking about my own prayer life. My own relationship with God. How often do I dumb down my own prayer life because I am afraid of being bold enough to ask God for things. I think this plays out in two ways:

First, because I am afraid I won't get what I ask for. I think this will be a reflection on my stupidity to ask in the first place or my unbelief in being able to bring it to fruition. So I just avoid it. If I am not specific in my prayers - then I don't have to deal with disappointment. I avoid praying for healing. For vision. For clarity. Because when I don't get these things - It is less disappointing when I haven't specifically asked for them.

Secondly, I am afraid of how God will bring about the answer to my prayers. If I ask for greater faith - what sort of struggles will I have to go through? If I pray for humility how is He going to bring that about? If I pray for an understanding of God's great love for me - not seeing my worth through the eyes of others - what sort of situations will I go through to truly grasp and understand that?

So I could totally understand why this beautiful young woman didn't want prayer. Why she actually FEARED the bold prayers of those of us who believe in a God that deeply loves her and has an amazing plan for her life. A God that will never give up on her and desires to see her flourish in freedom and communion with Him. 

That's a frightening thing if you don't believe it for yourself yet. If you're afraid of how those prayers will be answered. 

While we were with her last night we said a prayer of blessing and protection for her children (that much she would allow!). But tonight - and in the weeks ahead - I will be praying for her - for her life and purpose - and I am excited to see how God begins to answer those prayers. And I'm excited for the next time I run into her and can check up on how she continues to be fearful of the power of prayer. Because prayer IS powerful. And we forget that a lot. It was nice to be reminded. 

Red Hope

There's a girl I keep thinking about. I've met her several times out on the track, but two weeks ago was the first time she's spent any time really opening up or talking to us. I'll call her "Red."

I can't get Red out of my head because of how defeated she is. And how helpless I feel to assist her in any way, to give her hope or to make a difference in her situation. I feel defeated for her and wish so desperately I had more comfort to give, or more eloquent words, or better answers. But life is shit for her. And it is scary. And it really feels impossible.

Red has tried running away from her pimp two times before, and each time he has found her. Once, she made it three month and thought she was free, but he showed up one day ending the elated freedom she thought she had found. She had gotten rid of her cell phone, deleted all online presence and moved across the country. HOW did he find her? She still has no clue other than his interconnectivity with others involved in trafficking all across the U.S.

Having to listen to her tell us that there was no way we could ever possibly help her was maddening. It was depressing. And I froze in the moment. All I could do was acknowledge how impossible the situation feels and even sounds, but confess that deep within my heart I believe in a God that is bigger and can conquer even that which is impossible. She smiled a little at that and said, "I guess one day it'll work out, it just has to be the right timing, and I don't think that's now. But I'll try again someday."

I hope she will. I am inspired by her resilience, confidence and persistance. She is a fighter -and despite her impossible circumstances, she believes freedom can one day he be hers. She just has to fight both an internal and external battle with defeat each day in an effort to get to that place. I pray for Red everyday. She is vibrant and has a life of things waiting before her. She has our number, and I hope she'll call it when she feels that timing is right again - because I believe in my gut that God loves her deeply and passionately and will come to her rescue when she is ready to try again.

Will you pray with me that Red finds the courage to try again and that God would meet her with freedom and protection? 

When is Enough, Enough?

I saw K on the street this last weekend. It took until about half way though our conversation, when she mentioned her last name actually, for me to remember having met her about two years ago. Two years. Two years and she's still out on the streets. Drunk. High. Wandering around, not making any sense.

I guess I'm not surprised. She was there long before we met her two years ago - and she very well may be out there for many more years.

But it was the conversation I had with her the other night that has stuck with me and made me think and rethink about that exchange.

She told me that she knew God. She gave her life to Him - she did the whole thing. But she's still here. NOTHING has changed. And she's tired. So that's it. She gives up and she's just hoping it is enough. Because she's tried to be a good person but there's only so many times a person can get knocked down before they can't take it anymore. "I better be going to Heaven, cause I don't know what else to do. And I've got nothing else to give."

I told her I thought she was. Maybe you would have said something different. But I honestly believed it. She gave her life to God - and it's been a shit life since then. Doesn't that go against everything we preach to people? We tell them to give their life to God and he will turn it around! But it doesn't always work like that. Sometimes, life is just hard! Sometimes, God just walks with you through the pain. But I am beginning to realize more and more that it take a whole lot of practice to recognize God in the midst of that pain and hurt. It is easier to self medicate.

All I could say to that woman was God LOVES you, just as much as the day you decided to love him. And he's never left you. You're frustrated, and you want to give up on the whole thing and hope it was good enough - well, it was. But don't give up, cause God won't give up on you. I know it sucks out here, but no one understands abandonment, mockery, loneliness and judgement like God.

I didn't say all of that. I wish I had. All I said was "I think you are. God loves you. Don't give up on yourself." But she wasn't really with it. She just shook her head and got more and more frustrated.

In Gary Haugen's book "The Good News About Injustice" he talks about the simple concept that his friends "knew that they could never understand the deepest part of me if they didn't have some understanding of the hard things I had seen." This was such an easy concept for me to grab onto. And then he related it to God. We can't truly understand the deepest parts of God until we have some understanding of the hard things God has seen. And God sees EVERYTHING! God knows the deepest pain of each individual heart.

I think I understood God just a little bit better after last weekend. Wanting so badly to help and love K, her wanting desperately to receive it as she clung so tightly to my neck in a hug she didn't want to let go of, while at the same time saying she was better off alone and didn't need love or help.

God loves you despite your frustration and resistance, K. And you have done enough. Don't try or run anymore. He's right there. Just hang on to that hug. 

Stories from the Street

Each week our team hits the streets of Los Angeles to reach out to men and women involved in street prostitution. Every week we see God do miraculous things and answer prayers we barely dared to utter. Each week is different too... some seem busier than others, some more intense, there are always new faces.

Often we write and share with you about women who we've helped escape the life and the details of the dramatic rescue. But what you need to know is that we are seeing women make decisions right there on the streets on Friday nights. Whether temporary or permanent, decisions are being made that display the power of the Holy Spirit, sometimes we just walk up and we see the change happen.

There are a couple of stories from this last week I'd like to share with you...

N: She was one of the last women we met that night. Two of our volunteers approached her and gave her a gift bag. She quickly revealed that she did not customarily come out there to work but that she was desperate because she didn't have enough money for diapers for her son. Our volunteers shared with her about God's ability to provide and that we would even be willing to help with diapers. She admitted she knew she should not be out there....did not want to be out there... and immediately left and went home. Praise God with us for the choice she made that night and pray that she will not have to make that choice again. I don't know about you, but I've never even come close to feeling so in need that I would consider selling my body. Sure, I've had months where I didn't know how I was going to make ends meet only to watch God provide at the last moment but even in that I always knew I could call my parents or siblings if I really needed help. Imagine being so alone that you have no one to call for help to meet such a basic need.

A: While half the team was talking with N, myself and another teammate met A. She was young and a little nervous (fearing we were cops as most of the women do). Once she heard me offer her a gift she completely melted. "You guys are angels!" She was in shock that we had come there for her. And the next thing she said nobody could argue with, "Maybe this is God telling me to get off the streets?!" Well, I know there are a lot of other things God has to say to her such as, "You are my beloved." "You are forgiven." "I am the same yesterday, today and forever." "I have the power to raise the dead to life." I could go on and on but I am also sure that He clearly wants to communicate to her that this is not the life He has chosen for her. Would you pray for A and many of the women like her, who have a knowledge of God and even a sense of accountability to Him but are not walking in the power of His Spirit. His Spirit is able to set us free, able to lead us, comfort us, change us completely.

I guess what I'm trying to communicate is that we aren't just a bunch of dare devils kids who go to the ghetto at night and handout gift bags because its cool or we'll get some kind of reward for it. We are believers in Jesus. The same Jesus who died a horrific death for our sins and rose from the grave. We believe that same power is available through Him today and that He is willing and able to resurrect lives right in front of our faces. And it's not always some big dramatic scene.... she may simply turn around, and go home.

"Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live." John 11:25

Redefining Success

I've started to write this post at least a dozen times. I feel like it's something I'm constantly faced with in this ministry. I also feel like no one else (save my teammates and those in similar ministries) will understand and so I struggle to put down in words what is so evident to my heart and mind but likely foreign to the rest of the world (ok, maybe not the WHOLE world!).

We are often asked what our success rate is in ministry. I think that means "how many people have been saved and are now radically living for Jesus, off the streets and walking in abundant life?"
To which I would reply "maybe one or two...". Then I start working on my resume and filling out job applications because apparently I'm just wasting everyone's time and need to do something else with my life, something "successful".

But God has changed my perspective and now my reply is different... now I say, "we have redefined success and we have new successes everyday." I didn't just come up with that to make all of us feel better about spending our time, money and talents on this ministry, but because I actually believe it.

As I write this my heart is grieving the choice a young woman made earlier today to leave the safe house we had brought her to and go.... well, I don't actually know where she went, but I would guess back to her pimp. She called just last night and we picked her up and took her to a safe place for the night. This morning the battle was intense and I honestly believe that she wanted to choose life but she just wasn't quite ready. And you, like me, may be really tempted to be discouraged by that story but we shouldn't be. We should see it as a great success that she held onto our number and called when she wanted help, that she took a step of faith even if it was small, that she saw that there are people who care and are willing to sacrifice to help her choose life...when she's ready.

So for us success looks like a young woman taking one of our gift bags, telling us part of her story, letting us pray for her, or calling us when she needs help. Last week I asked one of the women if what we were doing was a blessing to her. Not because I wanted her to give me a pat on the back but because I have no intention of wasting my time or hers, if we need to change how we are reaching out, I want to know. Her response was powerful. She said, "Sure it's just a gift bag and that's not what we really need, but everytime you come out here and give us one, we know that someone cares about us and that means a lot. No one cares about us, prostitutes die all the time and no one cares." And so maybe that's what success looks like, proving to someone who feels abandoned and rejected that someone actually cares and that that's not going to change.

We would love to see these women coming to Christ and leaving the streets in droves and perhaps we will someday, but for now, we have redefined success and we praise God for His faithfulness in each and every one of them. It is His work, done by His Spirit, in His time. Maybe success looks like us being faithful when we don't see the results we expect.

"Happy is he who has the God of Jacob for his help, Whose hope is in the LORD his God, Who made heaven and earth, The sea, and all that is in them; Who keeps truth forever, Who executes justice for the oppressed, Who gives food to the hungry. The LORD gives freedom to the prisoners.The LORD opens the eyes of the blind; The LORD raises those who are bowed down; The LORD loves the righteous. The LORD watches over the strangers; He relieves the fatherless and widow; But the way of the wicked He turns upside down. The LORD shall reign forever--Your God, O Zion, to all generations. Praise the LORD!" Psalm 146:5-10

*Would you keep praying for D, the young woman we were able to minister to these last 24 hours? She has tasted and seen....pray that she will return and receive life!

I need help, what are ya'll going to do to help

 We had been out on the streets for about an hour when I approached Baby Doll (not her real street name) with a gift bag. As many girls are, she was confused why we were giving her the gift and why we were out on the streets of LA so late at night. I began telling her how special, unique and loved she was. That God has not forgotten her and loves her deeply. She seemed a little taken off guard, but then said she appreciated the message we were spreading because many of the women out on the streets needed to hear it.

Me: “But you don’t?”

Baby Doll: “Naw, I know why I’m out here, and I won’t be out here long. I’ve just gotta pay the bills and then I’m done. I’m in school to get my degree. I have a son! I’m just doing what I have to do to take care of myself”

Me: “How’s that going? Taking care of yourself? Is it working out? Are you sick of it yet?”

Baby Doll: “Oh hells yes. I am about at the end of my rope. But I’ve got no other options, just got to do it a bit longer until I get to a place where I feel like I can take care of my baby and me”

Me: “You really think you’ll stop? Think you’ll ever feel secure enough?”

Baby Doll: “I hope so.”

What would you have done to offer help to this woman? Out on the track we run into a lot of women like Baby Doll. They don’t think they are the ones in need of help, and yet they hate the circumstances they find themselves in with no real end in sight. When we try to offer help in getting them to a safe house, job skills training and other connections they are immediately skeptical because they have been failed so many times before and they’ve tried to get a job so many times before, they know going that direction is a long road that most often ends in disappointment.

In a news article from WAFB in Georgia a prostitute unknowingly did an informal interview with a police officer. Her responses were not uncommon:

“Department of Labor is giving no jobs. McDonald’s, Burger King ain’t hiring. The only thing left for a woman to do in Savannah is sell their body,” Rhonda said. “Prostitution ain’t nothing bad. It happened long time ago. It happened in Jesus Christ’s time.”

Rhonda and Edwards engaged in a 30 minute debate on programs and agencies available to help Rhonda, and others in her situation.

“What do you got to offer me? Nothing but the streets again,” she said. “I need help. What are y’all going to do to help?”

I asked her what she is going to do to help herself.

“Prostituting,” she said.

What advice would you give Rhonda? How would you respond to and help her? It is difficult for women with a “criminal” past and a serious lack of options to find viable options for supporting and sustaining themselves. And too often we as a society have failed them. We have done the easy work of getting them off the streets but gotten exhausted when it comes to the long hard work of walking with them through rehabilitation and reintegration into society. Rhonda seems like she does not mind prostitution and is fine with her situation – but I guarantee you that if she actually thought there was a chance for her to do something else with her life that would not end in failure and disappointment, she would jump at it.

How would you respond to Rhonda? What hope do you have to offer Baby Doll? What can the Church do to make it possible for them to find something sustainable other that prostituting themselves? Prostitution is seen as a choice – but it is a lack of choice, lack of freedom, lack of options and last resort of survival.

Don't Give Up On Us

"Don't give up on us!" Those words hurriedly exclaimed as we walked away from M several weeks ago impacted me so much that I actually wrote them down next to her name where I take weekly notes. When we approached her tonight she was walking away from us, we called after her and when she realized who we were she walked towards us almost as if she couldn't help herself,  as if she was being drawn in.

"I remember you, you prayed with me and everything began to change," she said as tears filled her eyes. She began to tell us the steps she had made towards getting out of the Game for good and how she hadn't been out in weeks until tonight... She asked that we pray for her, that this truly would be her last night. We offered to take her with us but she said it wasn't safe then because her pimp was watching her and would come after her.

We exchanged numbers and assured her that we willing to be a part of the process with her as she continued to make steps towards freedom. She left us with the same plea as last time, "please keep praying and...don't give up on us."

Those five words are so simple yet so powerful. How many times in a day do I want to give up?
It would be embarrassing to say, but the truth is sometimes the battle seems too great and I feel so small. And then I think about how often I say those same words to God, "don't give up on me.I know I'm making the same mistakes over and over, I know I'm putting my trust in worldly things, I know I'm choosing my way over yours.... but please, don't give up on me." And He doesn't. He remains steadfast, immoveable. He loves without condition. He pursues relentlessly, He corrects with gentleness again and again. He comforts me. Teaches me. Waits patiently for me. He never gives up.

And though I look at the women we meet on Friday nights; the circumstances they find themselves in, the lies they have believed, the overwhelming destruction and sense of hopelessness and in my flesh I want to give up, by the power of God's Spirit I am able to press on and love as I ought to love...as my Savior has loved me.  And when I am overwhelmed and it looks like evil is winning and the battle rages on... I remember my Savior, the One who has overcome the grave, the One who has conquered sin and death, the One who is alive, the One who has made a way and desires that none should perish but that all should have everlasting life. I remember that it is He who is fighting this battle, it is He who sets the captives free, it is He who makes beauty from ashes.

I know that you who are reading this are in the midst of a battle too (whether you know it or not is a subject for another blog) and sometimes you feel like you will never overcome and you simply want to give up. Don't. But DO, run to the one who HAS overcome, run to Him and rest in Him. He has called you to this place, in this time, for His purposes. He will carry you through to victory which you already have in Him. In those moments when you feel like you're not enough (be assured that you aren't) trust in the one who is, who lives in you and loves through you.

And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him. 1 John 4:16

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

"Don't give up on us." M, a young woman enslaved to prostitution and seeking freedom

Ministering to Pimps and Prostitutes

 We are a street outreach to Pimps and Prostitutes in Los Angeles. As our world becomes increasingly aware of sexual exploitation and trafficking, we have become more conscious that it exists on our own front step. I get asked quite a bit what some of the first steps someone can take are in order to begin their own outreach to prostitutes in their own cities. So this is an attempt to help lead you in that direction. If you are a pastor that wants to get involved in ministering in your city this way or you have a group of passionate lay people in your church that are eager to begin an outreach. I hope this gives you some help and encouragement to get started. 

The most important thing before you try to begin something like this is to make sure you have the proper perspective: these women are victims. If you see them as the problem: dirty women who are out to make a buck and enjoy manipulating men for money – you won’t be able to help them. Too many people think trafficking is something that only takes place overseas – or when women and children from other countries are brought into the United States, but the truth is every woman we meet out on the streets is a trafficked woman.

The United States’ Trafficking Victims Protection Act of 2000 defines “severe forms of trafficking in persons” as:

1. 1. Sex trafficking in which a commercial sex act is induced by force, fraud, or coercion, or in which the person induced to perform such act has not attained 18 years of age, OR
2. 2. The recruitment, harboring, transportation, provision, or obtaining of a person for labor or services, through the use of force fraud, or coercion for the purpose of subjection to involuntary servitude, peonage (the practice of holding persons in servitude or partial slavery, as to work off a debt or to serve a penal sentence), debt bondage, or slavery.

In one of our trainings we had a person ask us “how do you see these men and women as people and not as just objects?” If that’s the point you are beginning at, the men and women will sense it, and you won’t be able to help them. 

Most of the women and children that end up in prostitution come from either a family history of prostitution or from a difficult home life where one or both parents are in prison and they are left to provide for their family. An overwhelming amount of children who end up in prostitution are also the result of abusive situations: either rape, incest or victims of hostile homes where their parents have made it clear that their gay, lesbian and transgender tendencies are unnatural and unwelcome. In the United States, approximately 40% of adult prostitutes began their careers when they were underage. It is a cycle of victimization and manipulation that keeps them in prostitution. All of her life she has been told she is a piece of property; worth nothing and incapable of making her own decisions. She is powerlessness, isolated and experiences a marred identity: she has become human capital.

The second thing to keep in mind when wanting to begin this type of outreach ministry is to do your research. If you want to be a street outreach ministry then you need to know what types of resources in your area are available to men and women that will reach our to you and ask for your help. When a woman says she wants to get off the street, what will you do? When she says she is afraid for her safety, what will you do? When she says she has children that she also needs to take care of, what will you do? These are the kinds of questions you need to take care of. What if she is an illegal immigrant? What if she has a drug addiction? What if she is underage? 

You also need to know the rules and psychological effects of The Game. The Game is what they call the network of prostitution, those involved and its rules. There are lots of rules and terminology in “The Game” and it is important for you to at least be aware of what that is so you do not go out onto the streets ill-informed and into potentially dangerous situations. You need to learn where the tracks are in your town, how they work the girls, when the natural rotations happen, when to pursue girls and when to respect the fact that sex worker’s time is money. You also need to respect the psychological trauma that has taken place, for example, insulting a woman’s pimp by saying he is a jerk that treats her horribly will make her cut you off and never listen to you again. You need to understand the psychological manipulation and deep connection that has been formed there and learn to work within those bonds to reach out to her. 

The third thing to keep in mind when wanting to begin this type of ministry is to adjust your expectations of “results” you need to be in it for the long run. In the time I have been working with After Hours we have had the privilege of seeing women come off the street and into rehabilitation homes. But many of those women have ended up going back to their pimps. It is a really long road to recovery. Going back and fourth out of rehab is not uncommon. And not many girls will make the decision to leave the streets in the first place. Results for us are learning a girls real name rather than her street name, getting a call in the middle of the week from a girl that wants to tell us her kid made honor roll or ask us for prayer, seeing a girl several weeks in a row that recognizes us and is excited to see us again “There’s my girl!” These women have learned not to trust people in their life, so you will have to be consistent in building a relationship with them week after week and week and year after year. They will not trust you easily and you will need to earn their respect. 

The final thing (for now!) to keep in mind when wanting to begin this type of ministry is to be spiritually prepared. It is important to take spiritual warfare seriously when engaging in this type of street ministry. Be sure that you are motivated out of a love for God and the broken; not seeking excitement, sensationalism or public recognition. Again, the women can sense this. It is not uncommon for strange things to happen before our outreaches: family quarrels, illness, stressful situations, tiredness, and lack of motivation. There are many things you will experience or see on the track such as partial nudity, violence, gang activity, johns soliciting you, pimps staring at you, trying to recruit or intimidate you, and in the worse case scenario bodily hard to yourself or others around you. It is only through the power of God that a ministry like this can make a difference. God loves these women so deeply, God has a plan for their life and the fact that God will use you to minister to them in any way is such an honor. Make sure your heart is ready to go out on the streets and engage in those types of conversations.

When My Father Comes

Last Friday night we met a young woman, A. We spoke with A for some length of time. She seemed really open and shared quite a bit about herself. We asked her if she wanted prayer and she asked that we would pray for her father to be released from prison. She went on to explain that she felt unprotected and alone without him and that she believed her life would significantly change when he was able to care for and protect her. She believed the answer to her leaving the life of prostitution was to have her father back in her life. As I was listening I heard the Lord say, “tell her I am”. Over and over I kept hearing that and knew I had to tell her that all the things she hoped her earthly father to be, her heavenly was and more.

By the grace of God I was able to speak this truth to her and in the moment she seemed to respond. She went from saying “if” and “when” to “now”. I told her that her heavenly Father was able to deliver her now and perhaps we were sent just for that reason.

This interaction with A spoke volumes to my heart. How often do we say to ourselves “I will do this or that…if and when” when God is already there, ready to deliver us. We look to the things of this world, to other people to take a role that was meant for God alone. We will always come up short when we seek to fill God’s position with another. And yet, when God takes this rightful position we are free to be in a right relationship with others and the world around us.

“A” did leave the street that night, whether out of faith (that God had come to deliver her) or fear (of her current circumstances)… I don’t really know. What I do know is God met us there and will continue to do so. God knows the depths of our hearts and speaks straight to them. God comforts us, guides us, assures us, provides for us, and desires to be our all and the choice is ours. In the last few days as I have interacted with A, I can sense the battle taking place within her. To choose to be free is to choose to walk by faith, faith in a God who is not necessarily tangible (though even our presence on Friday night challenges that idea) and may even seem distant in light of her current circumstances, or to continue on bound up in chains always waiting for “if” or “when”.

Please pray for A to choose life. Pray that she will know God as God is, our gracious and merciful Father who longs to restore us. Jesus, who has come and made a way for us out of bondage and into everlasting life. May her image of an earthly father be changed and replaced by the gentle, yet firm love and faithfulness of our heavenly Father.

“For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father. The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs–heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” Romans 8:15-18

Christmas Outreach

Surrounded by handmade scarves, gloves, baked goods and 8 faithful teammates I couldn't help but start off the night with a thankful heart for God's abundant provision.

We split into two teams and headed out to two different tracks.

Our team didn't even make it down half our track before the meet up time. There were a lot of women out and perhaps in the spirit of Christmas many of them were very receptive and even happy to meet us this cold winter night.  We were able to spend some good time with several women hearing their stories, sharing of ours and how the love of God has made a difference, and praying over them.

One of the highlights of the night was running into J, a young woman we have met several times now who always remembers my name :). She is a beautiful girl, so full of life. The first time we met she was afraid that of what I might pray for her and it turned out with good reason. I prayed that God would get her off the streets and she was arrested soon after! She really didn't want me to pray the second time...but I did :) And again, yesterday, for her and the two women with her. One we have also met before and the other whom I had never seen was much more reserved, probably new to the game, feeling vulnerable and fearful but following the other girls lead allowing us into her world in a small way.

The women received the gifts and prayer and J even exchanged numbers with me so I could call her when we are out. Please pray for this young woman, that she would truly believe God and take Him at His word.

Praise God for providing in so many ways and continuing to bless us as we follow His call and by His grace bring light into the darkness and hope to the hopeless.

Merry Christmas! 

A Story of Hope

Graham crackers and frosting, it's one of my favorite snacks. I was happily partaking in this delicious treat on my lunch break when a call came in from an unknown number. Like most of you I'm always hesitant to answer unknown calls but considering our ministry, I always do.

God's timing is perfect. Any other time of day and I would have been busy engaging a classroom full of teens and preteens hoping to maintain sanity for just one more day. But it was lunchtime (did iI mention that? I really like food :) ) and I was ready as ever for what would come next.

The voice on the other end was unsure and quiet, "is this a helpline?" "Yes!" I replied as I quickly swallowed a mouth full of graham crackers. " I want out of this life and I heard you can help, I'm ready to go today."

And ready she was. M had packed a few belongings and snuck away while her pimp was out. As soon as she was safe she called me. I gave her a number to call for a safe house and called the woman who runs it to let her know she should expect a call. Within 2 hours she had been picked up and was being taken to safety.

As she waited we talked more and she told me pieces of her story. She has a daughter who just turned five and lives with her Grandmother. M told me of how she grieved missing yet another birthday, another Thanksgiving and that this would be the last.

She had been with her pimp for 3 years and had tried to leave before, running to a friend or a local motel, he always found her and with threats of violence or manipulation she returned with him. Not this time, this time she would go where he couldn't find her and where she could start fresh. This morning had been the last straw, after years of abuse physically and emotionally, he threatened her with a gun this morning. She could have continued hiding in terror but somehow found the strength to run, to run towards freedom and...hope.

Hope is hard to come by in the life. All you've even known is a life of worthlessness and abuse, you have little skills or education, those closest to you have betrayed you. Hope is the greatest need for with even a glimmer of hope comes the possibility of a greater life.

In the middle of our conversation she said, "I've talked to you before, my number was different then." I immediately knew who she was, a young woman we'd been praying for the last several months and had lost contact with. I couldn't believe it was really her, I had feared the worst when we lost contact, knowing how dangerous her pimp was and here she was, not just alive but taking a step toward true life, the life God had intended for her.

We stayed on the line until just before the rescue team got there. Later she called me from her new home, her voice still quiet but this time rather than fear, there was a sense of peace maybe even... a sense of hope. She left a message thanking me and assuring me I would hear from her in the coming days.

The coming days...they will be some of the most difficult for M. She will have to face all the pain and suffering of the last several years, unable to numb it with the false affections of others. Her greatest fears may be how she will survive outside of the life or how anyone will ever truly love or accept her.
She won't do it alone, not that she ever was. Jesus has pursued her thus far, He has made a way for her today and ultimately made a way for her by His death on the cross, that she might be eternally loved and accepted by her very Creator. She is His beloved, may that truth take deep root in her heart and be the driving force of her life.

Thank you for praying for M and the countless others who share her story. 

Purpose

Every so often when we hit the streets on a Friday night, we feel like our purpose is crystal clear. We always know why we are out on the street, what message we want to communicate and how we want to share the love of God with these women. But at times it is easy to get discouraged: do they really hear us? Do they believe? Will they remember even though we didn't get a chance to talk to them for very long?

Friday night Ben, Lindsay and I met up at 1:30a. We spent some time in prayer as we usually do - but this time our prayer was specifically asking that we would run into a woman that really needed to hear from God. That needed to be encouraged or challenged and met on the streets tonight, the woman that wanted to speak with us because she was at that place where she was breaking.

And that is exactly what God did.

The very first woman we say after driving down the track for about three blocks was BI. She was on the phone, as usual, and seemed in a hurry to get somewhere. When we approached her to give her a bag she looked confused. She asked what it was for and why we were talking to her. We said we were out here talking to the ladies - that we wanted to let her know how deeply God loves her and that he has big plans for her life if she ever wants to get out of this. 

BI had an almost scared look on her face as she began shaking her head and saying "You've GOT to be kidding me!" over and over again.

She proceeded to tell us that she was on the phone with her sister and had just been talking about how she was scared and tired and wanted to get out of the game. She was done. She wanted a change. She has two kids and didn't want them to have to grow up in fear and watching their mom come home with bruises, watching her have to sell her body to make a living and making them susceptible to the violence of the pimp that controlled her life. 

We walked with her down the street for a while because she was uncomfortable standing in one place, she felt like she was being followed. And eventually gave her a ride to the metro station so she could go get off the street and home to her kids. 

She was not ready to seek help at the moment - she was too scared of her pimps retaliation or what would happen to her kids - but we left her with our phone number as well as the number to three rehab centers around Los Angeles that she could seek help from.

We were able to pray with her, talk to her about how beautiful and special and unique she is and how much God truly truly LOVES her.

It was not a coincidence that we ran into BI Friday night - that she was at the end of her rope hoping for a way out and God brought a way to her. 

We ended up spending around an hour with her. What a privilege to step into life with her, pray with her, love her, cry with her and seek to share a glimpse of hope with her in the midst of a really scary time.

Pray with us that BI has the courage to make a change in her life - that she would not give into fear but she would choose to pick up the phone and get some help. 

The Girl in the Grey Pants

 "But now thus says the LORD, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine." Isaiah 43:1

I never saw her...I only heard the description quickly pronounced by one of my teammates as we passed her by. Those words hung in the air...was that all she was?  A girl without a name described by a generic article of clothing.

I don't know her story but I could guess at some of the details. Fatherless, abandoned, abused, broken- hearted, numb from the years of pain, living life simply to survive one day to the next.

I don't know her name or even the image of her face but I know God's thoughts towards her. I know that He knows the exact number of hairs on her head, that he has kept every tear of hers in a bottle. I know that He knit her together in her mother's womb with good works planned for her even before the foundations of the earth. I know that He created her with a purpose, to give her a hope and a future.

I know to the very depths of who I am that these things are true but does she? Will she live her life merely to survive this earth never knowing her Creator?

Week after week I'm haunted by the reality of this girl, not just her but all those that she represents.
Yet at the same time I'm hopeful, hopeful because God has done for me what He longs to do for each of them...for all of us. He has given me value, He has given me hope, He has redeemed me and pulled me out of my sin and brokenness into abundant life with Him.

As we drove home last night one of my teammates and I discussed the night's events... we didn't remember a lot of details. Not many girls received us though most of them took a gift bag, between the two of us we didn't have any real conversations or pray with anyone (though others on the team did). But my teammate had her mind set on things above as she said to me, "I can't wait to get to heaven and see all that God has done. All the hearts that were changed because of a simple gift bag or the kindness of a stranger. All the seeds that God will harvest from these nights we have spent on the street."

Perhaps we'll meet the girl in the grey pants there...maybe the first time we learn her name it will be the new name God has given her in heaven.

"And let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9

Ministry Update

August 7th...

"I lift up my eyes to the hills, from where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth. He will not let your foot be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber." Psalm 121:1-3

The longer I serve with After Hours, the more I recognize how completely inadequate I am and my total dependence on my God to show Himself strong on my behalf. There are decisions to be made, counsel to be given and I find myself overwhelmed and unsure. But God... two of the most comforting words. I keep going back to what He has said and the sure calling I have in Him. God has created me, redeemed me and called me. This is not about me, not about my abilities, it is about Jesus. And He is faithful to keep me as surely as He has called me.

In the last several months God has brought many believers alongside us in after hours who have a heart to love and serve His people. I couldn't be more thankful. He has also brought us alongside several who have a heart for Los Angeles and has given us opportunity to serve the community together.

Outreach... The last few weeks we have had lots of volunteers and great nights of outreach. We have seen a lot of girls and been blessed to talk and pray with many. Of course we aren't always received with open arms but we trust that God is working. Those who turn us away this week may receive us next week, so we press on in hope. It is encouraging to see how God uses each of us and individual gifts to minister to the men and women we meet.

Treasures and World Impact...

Treasures is an outreach ministry that seeks to minister to women in the sex industry, mostly through strip clubs and porn conventions. Harmony Dust started this ministry and I had the privilege of meeting her last week. I was so encouraged by her and learned a lot in the short time we spent together. I am looking forward to see how God might use this relationship to grow His ministry.
Check out www.iamatreasure.com

World Impact is a missions organization that ministers in the inner city areas. We have connected with the center in Los Angeles and are so blessed by their example and their willingness to join us in our efforts. www.worldimpactla.org

Testimony...
I met D***** over the phone several months ago. Over the months we have prayed together every week and in the last several weeks she has begun to attend Bible study with us. This last week a few of us went to her home after study to pray over her house and her family. She lives with her daughters and granddaughters and life is very chaotic. Her home is not a place of peace.
After praying, one of her daughters asked me if I would study the Bible with her right then I couldn't believe it, clearly the Holy Spirit was working. We began to study together and soon everyone else joined us. What a sweet night of prayer and fellowship. But then I got a phone call today (several actually) from D's daughter C. Both know the Lord, at least with head knowledge but in many ways their lives do not express the truth that they know. I was so overwhelmed by what I heard during the phone call and began to feel helpless, as though their situation was too much for God to handle. I didn't know what to say or believe and just cried and cried and cried.

I prayed with a dear friend and she said two things to me, "you know you are called to this and you are know you are not capable...God is". At that moment I had so much peace.

I tend to take on the pain of others and internalize it.... I wind up exhausted and usually in actual physical pain. Of course it didn't help that I hadn't slept well in the last few days and was going non stop from one event to the next. But nonetheless I knew I needed to take a step back... to rest and to pray. To look to the Lord where my help comes from.

August 16th...
"The heart of man plans his way but the Lord establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9

Last week almost all of my plans took a different course.  While this could have been frustrating and discouraging I know my God well enough to trust that His hand is guiding all things, even when it doesn't make sense. Resting in Him and looking to Him I press on, thankful that He cares for me.

Prayer requests this week:
1) Pray for outreach this Friday night
2) Pray for a young woman J who called me yesterday seeing help to get out of the game.

Blessings to you friends!

Last Night's Outreach

“Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her. And there I will give her her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth, as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt.” Hosea 2:14,15

God’s pursuit of us is relentless, His love is steadfast, He is faithfulness. Never have these truths been more apparent to me than when we meet the girls on the street. Whether they gladly receive us or quickly push away it is in response to God’s pursuit of them.

We met a lot of women this last week, gave out all of our gift bags and had to call it a night. Amongst the many there were a few that stood out which I will do my best to recall and share with you now.

The first woman we spoke with was “S”, she was beautiful and apparently pregnant though she made no mention of it. Her heart was soft and she was very receptive, something about her cut straight to my heart, it was difficult for me to guard my emotions. We did pray for her and share with her that God had so much more for her, she seemed to know but there was a sense of hopelessness at the same time. “s” told us there was a lot of girls down the street by a certain motel and sure enough there were A LOT!

We first came upon a group of 3 girls, they were VERY young and VERY receptive. In fact, they approached us and asked us for prayer.  Most of the girls we meet give us fake names and they change them all time and these girls did the same. One said her name was Special and was she ever. We began to pray over these women and it was evident that the Lord was in our midst! Special then pulled me aside and asked if she could pray. Wow, when this young woman began to pray! This was a woman who knew the Lord and knew she was not where He wanted her. She prayed with the power of the Holy Spirit over herself, the other girls, the men. She prayed with wisdom and discernment, this was God’s daughter.  In all my years of ministering on the streets I have not experienced a prayer like that. Afterwards we talked about options for getting her off the street and I gave her my number to call if she wanted help to which she tearfully answered, “can I call you if I just want to pray?”

Just minutes later we met another group of girls, there were three of them and from what I could gather two were being turned out and the other was “training” them. The new girls couldn’t have been older than 15. When we asked if we could pray for them, one of the young girls let out a gasp and covered her mouth as if in shock. It was as though she couldn’t believe God was there, in this awful place, as a witness to the awful things she was about to do. God met her there, I am sure of that.

The last woman we spoke with was older and lived in a nearby motel making money to live by prostituting herself. She had just come out for the night and we were the first people she met with. She said she knew the Lord so I felt I could really challenge her to trust Him and live the life He had for her. She knew.

These last months have not been easy, there have been so many changes and transitions, my heart has been torn in several directions, it is sometimes a struggle to find enough volunteers to go out at night but one thing keeps me pressing in and pressing on, God has given me just a glimpse of His heart for His people. There are moments when I feel the intensity of His love, the devastation of rejection, the hope of transformation…these moments draw me in and push me forward. I am in awe and overwhelmed by His great love, His unending mercy, His lavish grace that draws us near. 

Opening of the Flood Gates

Sometimes in our walk we are waiting (it feels like most of the time actually) but then eventually our waiting comes to an end and God answers. It feels as though God has opened the flood gates on After Hours Ministry. Several months ago I felt as though we were standing before a wall in the ministry and either we could stop there and let things be as they were or we could scale it and have opportunites greater than we could even imagine. Praise God, He has brought us over that wall and into an incredible season. We have seen so many prayers answered in the last several months it is overwhelming. Last night was an absolute answer to prayer. We held our first training class in the community we minister to, to local believers with a heart for their city.

Our specific prayer was for a church to connect with near the track so we would have a place to connect the women to. We met at this church last night :) At the end of the meeting the pastor offered their support and facilities to our ministry...wow!

God is planting other ministries in the same area that we are able to partner with for the gospel, like our friends with "Feeding The Spirit" a Bible study that meets on the street. They were our connection to this church and they actually arranged the meeting for our class last night!

God is growing our team and building teams in other locations. We had two other groups join us for our class last night that intend to start their own ministries in their area. Three women came who were formerly in the Game and are now serving Jesus.

After the class, 17 of us went on outreach. We split up in 4 teams and hit two different tracks. Our team met up with several women, 2 who didn't want to talk, 2 who really wanted to talk (one of them knew us) and asked for prayer for honest employment, 3 who didn't have much to say but happily took a gift bag, 1 who we have met several times who though she told me she likes what she does let me pray for God's deliverance for her, and 1 who was heartbroken because her son didn't live with her and her best friend had been stabbed and readily received prayer.

Last night was incredible, God is uniting His church for His kingdom and bringing glory to Himself. God is seeking after His own. God is greater than the evil of this world. I am so thankful to be His.

Prayer requests:

• Continued wisdom and direction as we connect with others serving in the same community. That each of us would have wisdom for the role that we have and how we can be most effective for God's kingdom.
• For unity within our ministry and the body as a whole
• For freedom for those who are held captive, that they will walk in the hope and future God has for them
• For wisdom as we seek to connect individuals to safe houses, employment rescources, churches etc. that are necessary for their restoration

Another Great Night

Then He said, "Go out, and stand on the mountain before the LORD." And behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, butthe Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice. 1 Kings 19:11,12

Less than a week after our last training class, the three of us on the outreach team who were there, were fired up. All week I was looking forward to outreach and then I remembered, "ugh...it's Memorial Day Weekend, every one will be out of town". Even still I asked if anyone could make it... Brad was in and so was Jen as long as we went early. Katie really wanted to come out but could only go late and decided she wouldn't join us.

The morning of, Jen text me to say she couldn't make it...we needed at least three to go out. I didn't want to give up so I asked Katie again, "if we go late, can you make it?" She was in!
I'm so thankful for God's provision and for that still, small voice that said, "don't give up, I have something for this evening".

So the three of us met up at 11:30pm to pray and hit the track around 12:30am.

The first girl we saw was A*****, she was very open and talked with us for a good length of time. She didn't live in the area and only worked on weekends because she liked the money. She did a lot of research at home about prostitution and even articulated that she was an example of a very typical story of girls who work in prostitution... a runaway foster child who had been molested. I had never heard a girl put that together before, at least not verbally. She was very smart, very concerned with being judged, and completely lost. She actually said she read her Bible and gave us some pretty good reason to believe that she did. She also prayed, she knew it was important to spend time with God. But she didn't know how valuable she was, she didn't know or at any rate believe that God had created her for so much more. As much as she made the connection to the wounds of her past she didn't see a need for healing and a new direction. We tried to encourage her and let her know she could call anytime, even if she just needed a friend (she really has no family) and then we headed on our way. Oh, she also taught us a few things.... "put the tax on it" if I'm correct means to collect the money from a trick up front. And she told us about "vice night" I guess there are specific nights the vice are out arresting girls, so many of them just avoid going out on those nights (doesn't seem like the best plan to me?)

Next we saw a very young girl wearing a blonde wig, she was moving very fast and while she took a gift bag she didn't stop to talk.

Then there was M******, a very sweet and genuine woman. She looked uncomfortable but didn't mind us stopping to talk. She like A, had already prayed on her own and didn't need us to pray. I wonder if they refuse our prayer because they know that the Holy Spirit will convict them? They know they aren't doing the right thing and they don't want to face it especially with the Lord.

We headed on from there and ran into N*****, she told us that she was there because she had gotten pregnant by her "boyfriend" who told her if she wanted him to take care of her and the baby she had to prostitute herself. She has a one year old daughter. She said she wanted to get out but needed protection and a home for her and her daughter. We gave her our info. in case she wanted to talk more about getting out and how we could help. While we were talking to her F**** (a guy) walked up, he was most likely a runner for her pimp. He said he just got out of prison and was excited because he got a job at Jack in the box and asked for prayer that he could do well there and keep his job. We prayed for both of them.

Of course there were the two girls who looked at each other and said, "just take the bag so they'll go" and the one we had to run to catch up to that turned around and said, "you'all don't have to chase me".... not every interaction is successful, but we will be there next week.

As expected, it was a great night. God gave us a lot of opportunities for conversation and I trust that He is working in the hearts of the men and women that we met. 

A Crazy Night

"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9

There were only three of us planning to go out this last Friday, set to meet at 1am. At about five minutes to one Katie called and told me she had just woken up :)
Julia and I would have been fine to go out just the two of us, but I asked the Lord and believed that if she was still willing to come out we were to wait for her. She really wanted to come so Julia and I took the time to catch up and plan Katie's penance ;)

Katie arrived and we spent time praying and then headed out to the track. At this time it was about an hour later than we would have gotten there. At first the track seemed really quiet, until we got to the end. There were girls, johns and pimps everywhere. We couldn't get to the girls fast enough they would come and go off one corner in a matter of seconds.

It Was A Crazy night

The night felt really intense from the moment we got out there, the women were literally running back and forth from pimps and cops the entire time. Most would say "no" to our gift bag until one girls would say "yes" and then all of them would take one.

One woman tried to recruit us, said she could use some "snow" (eh em... white girls) on her team. She was pretty persistent... maybe she didn't get what we were trying to do down there ;)

Another group of women asked us if we were going to pray, then told us not to, then asked us if we were going to pray, then told us not to... as we walked away they said "pray for us". This interaction is a picture of the battle going on for these women...the tug of war between crying out for God and walking in their own ways. You could almost see the different voices she must have been hearing, "call unto me, I am here and I want to be with you." and that of the enemy "you are not even worth His hearing you, He can't help you anyways." It is a great reminder of how much of the battle is won in prayer and where we need to focus our time. We fight not against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers.

We very quickly ran out of bags and headed back to the car to see what was left and decide what to do next. A cop pulled up behind us and followed us for some time... thinking this was strange I pulled into a gas station to see what they wanted. The officers pulled up and asked us what we were doing, when we told them their countenance totally changed. They were thankful that we were out there but very concerned for our safety.

As we were leaving the gas station, a car pulled up next to the officers and told them someone had a gun and there was a fight. The cops took off and so did we.The sight of the incident.... the exact corner we had been on talking with the girls the entire time.

God's timing is perfect

There was a lot going on Friday night... I can look back and see God's hand bringing us to the track at a time when there were so many women that we could reach out to and causing us to leave the track when danger was imminent. We had made our plans and He had directed our steps.

I cannot stress enough our need for prayer as we go down to LA, it is clear that we need His protection, it is clear that we need a sensitivity to His Spirit, it is clear that we need to walk in all humility and grace.... we cannot do these things apart from Him.

Worst Case Scenario

I cannot say that there isn't a part of me that says "maybe the risk is too great?" that doesn't ask the question, "Am I willing to be shot? Kidnapped? Robbed? Killed?" These things run through my mind all the time but then so does the truth of eternity. I know where I will be spending eternity, I will be with my King Jesus for all time. Most of the people we meet on a Friday cannot give that answer. Is it worth it to risk my life for theirs? Without a doubt.

I was reading part of our ministry guidelines to my roommate Melissa and it said "you may face, danger, violence.... and worst case scenario, death." to which my roommate replied "or best case scenario". It's true, my best case scenario is to meet my Savior, that is where my hope is. That is why we do what we do, to offer the only true hope to a hopeless and dying world.

God's Miraculous work of salvation

God's work of salvation is an absolute miracle, and one of the miracle's for us as believer's is that He would choose to use us to draw others to Himself. We have been going through Acts at church and I have read the book several times but this time the account of Saul's conversion in chapter 9 stood out to me like never before, "Brother Saul, the Lord Jesus who appeared to you on the road by which you came has sent me so that you may regain your sight and be filled with the Holy Spirit. And immediately something like scales fell from his eyes, and he regained his sight. Then he rose and was baptized; and taking food, he was strengthened." If you read just a few verses before you will see that this same man was breathing threats against the saints, imprisoning them and murdering them. His salvation is an absolute miraculous work of God. No one is too far from His strong arm of salvation.

And so we continue to go... we go by the power of His Spirit, like Ananias who was sent to Saul, we say to the Lord "do you know who they are? what they are capable of?" and the Lord replies, "Go for he is a chosen instrument of mine to carry my name before the Gentiles and kings and the children of Israel." Who knows who God will send us to, or the impact they will have on the kingdom.

Who has God sent you to today? May we have the heart of our Savior who left the 99 to seek after the one. May we be faithful to God's call like Ananias, walking by faith and not by sight.

As always, I ask that you pray for our team and if your heart is stirred will you pray with me now?

Lord Jesus,
We recognize that you are Lord, You are Savior, You have accomplished what we never could. We praise you for the gift of salvation and for drawing us in. We praise You for graciously using our lives to glorify You on this earth. God, you have stirred up our hearts and where there is fear we ask for courage, where there is confusion we ask for clarity, where there is self we ask for Your spirit. We ask for the lost that you would draw them to Your heart, that you would convict them of sin and righteousness and judgment and that those who are perishing would be brought into a saving relationship with You. Amen. 

Turning Out

tonight on the track was frustrating. well, every night is frustrating. what an overwhelmingly beautiful and wonderful place to be able to enter into and speak to girls in the midst of. but there are some weeks that you are reminded, ever so severely, the dark world prostitution and trafficking is. we might only have to step into it once a week, but these girls live it.

tonight on the track we ran into a whole lot of girls. it was almost easier to just keep walking down the street rather than get back in our car and continue driving down the track. girls were everywhere! but what was strange was how spread out they were - few of them were clustered together. they were each individually standing on their own street corner watching each car as it drove by. as we approached some of these girls to try and offer them a gift bag or strike up conversation is became clear all at once that these were new girls that were being broken in - getting turned out for the first time. they were trained very well. they were too new in the game to be comfortable speaking to or making eye contact with a stranger. and if you paid close attention you could see the pimps and runners not very far away keeping a close eye on their behavior.

we even ran into one girl with a broken arm. she refused to talk to us and even tried to run across the street to get away. although, now that i think about it, i think she was attempting to get away from the man that was behind us. because this man walked with her down the street several blocks "sweating" her - trying to catch her "out of pocket".  i can't help but wonder how her arm got broken in the first place. was it really an accident? was it some form of punishment? was it a trick gone wrong? these women are put in such dangerous situations.

i know these things happen all of the time. i know these girls get treated horribly - but sometimes it is easy to forget when you don't see the ramifications all the time and they are so good at greeting you with a smile - telling you everything is going just great!